Behind the Magic - Reflections 8 months after the release of Take Me Back to the Ocean

THE MAGIC - An Alice-in-Wonderland-like trip through a mysterious tea mug into a magical watery realm of colourful squids and sea creatures. Music & Video by The Mollusc Dimension.


LOOKING FOR VIDEOGRAPHER!
Made in lockdown – a transformation of loneliness and isolation into creative entertainment. 99% self-shot. But I accept that I can't do every job on my own. It's exhausting. 

So… For my next project “Asians Have Feelings Too”, I am excited about the idea of working with a video director and a team of people. It will be a new direction for me and I’m unsure about how to go about it.


References to difficult mental health struggles


BEHIND THE MAGIC 
I was raised in a society that considers various groups of which I am a member – expendable. My parents who were raised in British colonised Hong Kong were determined to be “useful”. Perhaps this is why they didn't want me to study art. (Imperialists present art as useless because it is actually revolutionary). Perhaps this is why I am an artist. Beyond being vital to communities, art is processing and communication of painful experiences. Perhaps this is why I take what I find around me, a mug, my phone, cardboard packaging, plastic bags and make things. If I can't find friends I will make them. Or I will find friends through making things. 


Coronaracism which happened during grocery shopping for my mum - was the toxic icing on the cake of a lifetime of micro-aggressions, harassment and PTSD. Already feeling an outsider in the area I moved back home to care for my mum with bereavement admin. (I think this situation is even more likely if one is AFAB). I became very anxious and was reluctant to leave the house. I even felt and very anxious buying food. I still do. My partner and I of nearly 7 years broke up last autumn. The mug was a present from him a few years ago. A few of the scenes by the sea in the video are from an amazing holiday we had in Guernsey in 2019. I loved being by the sea.



It's very difficult living with my mum. If you're ESEA and particularly if you're over 40 you will get it. You would be shocked if I said, sometimes I hate it here! I want to live by the sea. I made a ton of work last year – because I feared if I move I will be busy paying bills. Fear though, is no way to live. Unlike my mum and my ex, who have been planning their futures, I put my energy into imagining escape. I have not yet learnt to imagine a future. 

How do I - conditioned as expendable - imagine the future?



Take me back to the ocean.

 
video, mental health, creativity, DIY culture, music, racismThe Mollusc Dimensionmusic, Asian, racism