Play> Tips for Tentacled Insomniacs

TIPS FOR TENTACLED INSOMNIACS

A Play in 2 Acts by The Mollusc Dimension

Towards the back of the stage are 3-4 large plastic bins, assorted plant pots including one about 40 cm diameter, and a large wooden or plastic garden tool chest containing trowels and mini forks. A wheelbarrow is upturned. In the middle, towards the front of the stage, there is a small red brick model house. At the front of the stage are about 6-7 small model cars and model plastic trees in various colours. At the very back of the stage, to one side is a door which is the same colour as the door on the model house.

Prologue Dog: I am Dog. I have noticed that the Squid is having trouble sleeping at night and thus, I have a cunning plan up my sleeve. (Takes out plan and eats it)

ACT 1: 

The Garden of Grumps and Groans

Scene 1: Dog is hanging out on the lawn in the sun holding a bottle of purple nail polish and carefully painting her nails purple and texting her friends. She is listening to music by Irn Brunette and Meggie Brown on pink and turquoise headphones.

Scene 2: Squid and SquidMum poised over patio table on which stand 5 small pots of brightly coloured flowers. The two are fighting over the plants.

Squid: Yes!

Mum: No!

Scene 3: Squid takes the lid off the soil bin and steps back, aghast. 

Squid: (angrily) THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF SOIL IN HERE AND THE WHOLE THING IS WATERLOGGED!!!

20 min Interval: Ice cream (incl. vegan) £3 a tub. Alcohol-free drinks 50p-£1.50 per item.

ACT 2

Scene 1: Upbeat jazz music with a comical feel is played while Squid tips out the water from the bin, transfers the soil into two containers, repositions them several times, pots the plants, cleans the tools. He puts the potted plants in the large 40 cm diameter pot and places them in the wheelbarrow. He pauses and places the two soil containers carefully on top of the chest. In this position, the lights fade for about 10 seconds. They fade in again with him in the same position.

Scene 2: Squid wheels the wheelbarrow from the back of the stage. He takes out the pot and puts it down. He throws the soaking soil bags away and wheels the wheelbarrow back. He walks through the door.

Scene 3: Dog sneaks on from the side of the stage with exaggerated steps like a cartoon burglar and tips over the buckets of soil. Lullaby music plays and stage lights dim to black.

THE END

© The Mollusc Dimension, May 2021